I had a rough childhood. Growing up in an environment with a mother overcoming mental illness and a depressed, angry, controlling father in denial of the toxicity of his relationship created a very distressing environment for any child to be raised in. I’m not even sure what being a child really feels like. I had to grow up too fast. Innocence lost at much too young of an age.
There was something within the depths of my soul that knew this was not healthy. Nor was it any experience I wanted to continue into my adulthood. What I discovered was until I was ready to do the work to heal myself, I would continue to make familiar choices. Choices that I had experienced in my childhood that were not healthy. A toxic environment was the only familiar environment I knew, and I am guilty as charged finding just that as a young adult.
Unknowingly I sought after two different kinds of relationships with people. One type were people who were unsupportive, unkind, and unloving of me, and I was completely fine with being treated that way. I still remained a loyal friend. The other were people I thought I could help. I was even arrogant enough to think I could make them the best versions of themselves. I learned that people only change if they want to. You cannot make someone be something they are not ready to be or do not want to be. In those relationships I was left exhausted as I would put all my energy into the other person and never took care of myself.
Guess what? As I decided to choose love and happiness for me, I began to awaken. As I awakened my soul, my truths became clear. When I love myself, truly love and connect to me, I can bring my light into this world.
I wrote the above affirmation for my inner child and for everyone out there who needs to remind their younger selves that they are loved, and they are enough. Our inner child is still very much a part of us. As we give our inner child the love and nurturing they need, the beauty within our soul will awaken.
